Importance of our Respecting Parents
Charity starts at home. Be kind to your parents before being kind to others since they have the highest rights on you. Do not act with impatience towards them. How you behave with them says a lot about you. Mistreating one’s parents is the highest form of bad luck and removes rizq (wealth) from a person for every misdeed done with them. Allah promises to mete out punishment in this life as well as the next. When we disrespect our parents with even something small, like words, it leaves us empty. It injures the hearts of our most loved ones.
“Thy Lord has decreed that you shall worship none but Him and be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, never say “uff” to them or scold them, but always speak graciously to them.” (17:23).
What an apt example! “Uff” takes its worst form when directed at parents. Saying such words with disrespect will only hurt our parents’ feelings. In old age, their bodies are frail and their abilities (physical and mental) are diminished. Sickness after sickness, helplessness abounds, and loneliness lurks. With our bodies strong, our abilities high, our health intact, Alhamdulillah, we need to do more for them. They gave to us everything we have, so we should give back to them even more.
“And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: My Lord bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (17:24).
Allah has commanded us to be kind to our parents many times such as in 17:23, 17:24, 2:83, 29:8, 31:14, 4:36, and 46:15. When praying we must pray for them and their salvation as well (71:28, 17:24)!
Our parents loved us even before we were born. They shielded us from all kinds of evil and harm and taught us how to differentiate between right and wrong. They groped in the darkness so we could walk in the light. Selflessly, they spent their best and strongest years raising us. They opened to us the world of Truth. They gave us knowledge and their hard earned money. How much they sacrificed for our comfort and sound growth we may never realize.
Our mother, under whose feet is paradise, bore us and gave birth with so much apprehension and pain (both apparent and non-apparent). Allah (Subahanahuwata’Ala) says:
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.”( 46:15)
We must also beware that, when we ourselves have children InshaAllah, they will be watching us and learning more from actions than our words. Not only that, but they will treat us in the same way we treated our parents. This is an obligation that transcends generations.
The amazing part is that whatever we spend on our parents is counted towards charity (2:215). A worldly gift may be raved about for a few minutes or even days but spending our time and money for our parents transports us to a higher spiritual plane.
Finally, Rasulullah (pbuh) commented about the responsibilities towards our parents in that:
· “Paradise lies under the feet of the mother.
· “Allah’s pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and Allah’s displeasure is in the displeasure of the father.
· “It is a pity that some people may not attain Paradise, on account of not serving their old parents.
· A person once asked the Holy Prophet (pbuh), “Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?” The Holy Prophet replied, “Your mother and again your mother and once again your mother. After her is the claim of your father, then that of your near relatives, and then of the relations next to them”.
May Allah give all of us the Tawfiq to truly love , respect, and fufill the rights of our parents.
-Written by: Sr. Faiza Mujeeb